


Teaching Undyne to play STALKER

by morefishplease



Series: Comfy Fish Stories [21]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Surprises, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 19:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10578288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morefishplease/pseuds/morefishplease
Summary: What it says in the title. Due to having originally been written and posted for a different site most of my stories' titles are just descriptions of the story, and I'm too lazy to make up meaningful titles for everything.





	

“Hey nerd, whatcha playing?”

“STALKER, check it out.”

You’re going through the Agroprom Underground for what must be the umpteenth time now, Undyne watches in mild awe as you make your way through the bandits at the beginning, cheering with a loud whoop when you blow up the barrel in their midst, sending bodies flying. She sits in your lap carefully, scooching her butt up as close to you as she can get, leaning back and nestling her head into your chest. “Keep going,” she tells you. “I wanna watch.”

“You want to play?” you ask her. She shrugs.

“I wouldn’t be good at it,” she tells you. “I always played games on consoles, never on a computer. I was more of a Street Fighter girl,” she explains, flashing you a dazzling grin. She’s kicked your ass in Street Fighter plenty of times and she’s crowed over it each time, punching the air with a meaty fist.

“Go on, try it,” you tell her. She reaches out, takes the mouse from you, spends a little time getting used to it.

“Man, this is weird,” she says. “How can you play like this?”

“Depends on what you’re used to,” you tell her. “I’m useless with a controller.”

“Yeah you are,” she chuckles. “So what am I doing?”

“See the map up in the corner? You’re headed for the diamond.”

“WASD, right?”

“You got it.”

So Undyne moves off into Agroprom. Along the way you show her how to loot the bodies of the bandits you’ve killed, and she manages to scavenge a few more rounds of AK ammo. She laughs when she opens the inventory, sees that you’ve stockpiled six bottles of vodka. She drinks a few, giggles harder when the screen starts swinging around and splits apart to simulate double vision. “Man, this guy is a lightweight,” she says.

“Well, you did just drink like three entire bottles of vodka…”

“Fair enough,” she shrugs, going down the spiral staircase. “What are those?” she asks, pointing at a Fruit Punch.

“It’s an anomaly. It’s like a pool of acid. Don’t touch it.”

“I wasn’t going to,” she grumbles, although she’d been edging nearer to it before you’d explained. When she leans out into the next room you grin to yourself, knowing what’s coming next. “Boy, this game is pretty easy,” she says, walking confidently through the room. She nestles closer into you, reaches back, caresses your face, looking at you with a mixture of mirth and adoration. “No wonder you’re playing it –“

The bloodsucker roars and her attention snaps back to the screen. “Oh shit,” she says, aiming down the room, not noticing the pair of white eyes rapidly approaching. You try to remember when your last save was. “What was that?”

It pops out of nowhere right in front of her and Undyne yelps, jerks back against you. She sprays wildly, but the bloodsucker swipes at her twice and she’s dead. She watches it crouch down and start to eat the corpse, blows a breath out.

“This game is dumb,” she grumbles, but she’s already hit the spacebar and loaded the last save.

  

▪ ▪ ▪

 

The next day you get home from work and call out that you’re home as you usually do. All the lights are off inside; Undyne usually comes bounding out from wherever she’s holed up, whether it’s the bedroom or the living room, with a huge smile on her face and smothers you with kisses. She’s like a puppy, she really is, but you’d never say that to her face. Today, though – silence. “Undyne?” you call out uncertainly. You check the table for a note but there’s nothing. Maybe she went out, to the store or something?”

When you open the door to the bedroom you hear a weighty thud behind you. “AH NUUU” Undyne yells, “CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE!” You’ve about had a heart attack but you turn smiling, ready to pounce on Undyne, but you find she’s gotten the drop on you. She smells strongly of vodka and has on her tracksuit, with the hood pulled up. She’s making a gun out of her hands, pointing it at you. “You’re my prisoner, cyka blyat,” she tells you in an offensively bad Russian accent. You put your hands up, force a stammer into your voice.

“Don’t shoot! I’m unarmed!”

“Turn around,” she orders, and then she marches you over to the bed. “Take off clothes, tovarish,” she commands, slurring her words a little. When you’re not moving fast enough for her she practically rips your pants off. She grins lasciviously. “Why are you of lying, comrade? I thought you said you were unarmed?”

You start to say something but whatever it was is forced back down your throat by Undyne’s tongue. She flings you back on the bed, unzips her tracksuit. Your eyes trace down her naked chest, and she reaches out, pins your arms above your head. She’s still pointing the finger gun at you, you note.

“Now,” she says, kissing her way down your chest, “my bloodsucker impression…fuhuhuhuhu!”

**Author's Note:**

> This one is really stupid, but you have to write stuff like this sometimes if you're just taking requests. I think what I hate the most about this story is that I made Undyne lapse into that really annoying type of STALKER fan, the one who thinks talking in a fake Russian accent and yelling cheeki breeki is the coolest thing ever; the bad thing is I couldn't really see a way around it because everybody who plays STALKER and likes it goes through that phase at the very start. Sometimes they even grow out of it. I think ultimately it was the right decision but it doesn't stop me from cringing just because those people are gross.


End file.
